Dungeon Play Parties - What REALLY happens?

Over the weekend I attended my first dungeon play party in about 10 years. I’ve been on the fringes of the lifestyle for about 15 years, write exclusively BDSM-themed erotic fiction, and have been collared 3 times. So why did I wait so long between parties?

Simple answer: Fear. Of several things. First, I don’t know many local kinky people (or if I do, they hide it well!). I hadn’t kept tabs on the local scene for a while and didn’t know what was out there. Second, I’m no size 6. It’s taken me many years to build the self-esteem needed to see the sexy in me, and now that I’ve found it, you better back the fuck up, because I exude sensuality and sexiness. I was concerned for a long time that I wouldn’t be accepted.

As you can imagine, finding and attending a play party was a process that I didn’t take lightly. There’re a lot of crazies out there, and a lot of wannabe’s. I followed several safety rules along the way:

1. Attend your first party with a friend, and/or a protector if possible.
2. Make sure you have a way to leave easily if something (or someone) squicks you. Either drive yourself, or go with your protector.
3. If you are going with a potential play partner (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, etc.), discuss, discuss, discuss BEFORE the party. Setup guidelines. Communicate what you’re willing to do and what you’re willing to show.
4. Once you’ve setup your guidelines, STICK TO THE PLAN. Some of us submissives are either so starved for the lifestyle or so naturally want to please, that we’ll fall under the ‘spell’ of any self-proclaimed Dominant and be talked into doing something we hadn’t planned on.
5. Go in with an open mind. A scene takes a lot of effort from the players. Nothing will kill it quicker than someone on the sideline gasping loudly and yelling ‘Ewwww!’ Be considerate of all those attending. NEVER be a fan of YKINOK (Your Kink Is Not OK). Show everyone the same consideration you’d want to receive.
6. If you’re watching a flogging/whipping scene, stay out of the backswing area. Nuff said.
7. At most play parties, all genders/sexual orientations are welcomed. If f/f or M/M sex bothers you, make sure you avoid those areas, and keep your opinions to yourself.
8. Know the dungeon’s rules. Many have ‘no penetration’ and ‘no masturbation’ rules. In the local dungeon’s case, no alcohol or drugs are allowed. If you show up under the influence, you’re welcome to socialize in the meeting area, but you aren’t allowed to enter the dungeon under any circumstances.

How do I find local groups?
Play parties are fun to attend, but how do I find them? Thanks to the Internet, and a couple of well-placed groups, you can find your local kinksters pretty easily. Check out FetLife, which is a social network (like Facebook) but for kinksters. FetLife has tons of groups that you can join, including groups for kinksters in your area. You can also check out Yahoo groups. Be aware that you’ll need to verify your age with Yahoo to access the ‘adult’ groups, but again, membership is free.

I’m not a Beauty Queen/King, am I gonna feel out of place?
Honestly, as a big woman, this was a concern of mine. Believe me, I was pleasantly surprised! What I liked the most was everyone’s attitude. Most everyone sauntered about the dungeon in various states of undress, and didn’t give two hoots about what others thought. And for good reason – everyone was open and accepting. Not one person looked at the ‘real’ people and made a face indicating their dislike. Folks attending were as young as 18, and as old as 70. It was awesome seeing men and women well into their 60’s still enjoying kink!

OK spill it, what did you see?
Alright already! I walked into the dungeon and was pleasantly surprised. All the furniture was hand-made (I met the Dom who made most everything…and told him I want the plans! LOL). The swing was the first thing to the right as I entered. A large woman was bound in the swing, with a man wearing only a kilt taking pictures. The man introduced himself as the unofficial photographer and immediately asked me if I had a problem with being photographed. Hell, no! I’m an exhibitionist at heart.

Next was the spanking bench. A woman, naked except for a chain-link belt, was strapped to it, and her Dom was slowly running his hand over her back…while wearing a vampire glove. She writhed as he readied her with the sensation play. Then he began to lightly flog her, alternating between flogging and playing with her pussy. As I watched, enthralled, he brought her to a screaming orgasm. Wow, live sex where you actually get to see a woman come! I think all the boys weaned on mainstream porn need to attend a play party or two.

In the center of the room there were two padded leather tables. On the first table, a man was lying face-down while a Domme flogged him lightly. She would hit a tender spot every now and then and he’d flinch and moan in pleasure.

On the other table a woman was lying face-down while a Dom engaged in some edge play with a very large knife. As I moved in closer I noticed that she wore a collar and leash, and was in ecstasy. No blood was spilled, as her Master was also skilled at using a knife to create sensation without breaking her skin. He put down the knife, and lay over top of her, biting her neck and shoulders as she writhed beneath him. He slid back off of her, turned her over, and pulled out a set of small-gauge needles. After preparing the woman’s breasts and abdomen with alcohol wipes, he began to push the needles into her, forming a straight line from mid-breast to her upper abdomen. The needles stood straight just like acupuncture needles. He also pressed a needle into each nipple, and then wound ribbon between the needles in her breasts. She enjoyed the pain, and was rewarded as her Master then brought out a hefty vibrator and brought her to a screaming orgasm.

Along the other side of the room was another table with four posts and a frame at the top of the posts. Eyelets hung from all sides and the all along the top of the frame. An man in his late 60’s was bound standing in front of the table, arms up and wrists cuffed to eyelets on the top frame, and legs taped to the sides of the frame. A Domme was sitting on a chair in front of him, fully clothed, as he moaned naked and blindfolded in front of her. She had already attached bull-clips to the sides of his cock and his balls, and was using a crop on the insides of his thighs. He would cry out at each slap of the crop and then thrust his cock out for more attention. Finally she put the crop down and removed the bull-clips slowly as he cried out and then jetted his cum across her thighs. She held him as she removed his bindings, rubbing all his joints and his skin to help him come down from the endorphin high.

At the far end was a rack, with a naked man bound and stretched on his back. The Domme attending to him was attaching bull clips to his balls as he moaned in a mix of pain and pleasure.

In the back was the suspension area. A frame was bolted into the rafters, with several thousand-pound winches attached. One of the Doms was the local rope and suspension expert, and he graciously gave of his time to tie and suspend several women. His knot work was flawless, and so was his sense of humor. He tied the Dungeon-owner’s submissive in pink ropes as she was naked and wearing pink bunny slippers! As we watched, the Dom also showed us several tools of the trade that he’d had hand-made for him: cat-o-nine tails, large and small floggers, dragon tails, and canes to name a few. He found a willing subject and gave us a demonstration of Florentine flogging, which is a two-handed style that uses matching floggers. Several people wanted to learn how to wield the floggers, so the Dom also spent some time showing proper flogging technique.

As the evening moved on, the two tables in the center of the room became available. The female kinkster running the show setup the tables as a sensation-play area for all the newbies who were interested. Several Tops volunteered, and several women laid face-down across the tables, eager to experience some light BDSM. As I watched, the Tops went to work on them using large and small floggers, wartenberg pinwheels, rods, and a chain mesh glove. This went on for about half an hour, and a few more bottoms stripped and offered themselves up for the sensations.

Another man laid face-down on the spanking bench, blindfolded, while a Domme played with his ass and balls. As she put on a strap-on, she prepared him for the impending fucking with some anal beads. When she felt he was prepared enough, she had him lay on the front side of the bench on his back, legs in the air, and proceeded to fuck him with the strap-on while another man stood beside them and played with the sub’s cock. The sub had a hard time accepting the dildo – he was very upset because he thought he had failed the Domme. Instead she calmed his fears and explained that she was not displeased. She put on a glove and used her fingers to fuck him in the ass as the other man continued to stroke the sub’s cock. As I watched his moans increased, the stroking got faster, and the Domme encouraged him to come. He let go and came, covering his abdomen and chest as he yelled out his release.

(I must note here, that this group is a little different from others that I have been a part of. Many dungeons have a ‘no penetration’ rule that includes no intercourse, oral sex, digital penetration, or toys. Masturbation may or may not be allowed. Make sure you know a club’s rules before attending any parties! I’m of the opinion and that if you’re working me over, I want a happy ending, so there better be SOME form of penetration ;))

Another female sub was put on a St. Andrew’s cross while a Dom flogged her. The floggers sounded SO loud that I winced a few times. Another Dom standing next to me leaned over and said ‘Don’t worry, he’s making it sound much worse than it is.’ That actually gave me cause to shiver! After flogging the sub for about 15 minutes, the Dom pulled out my favorite toy – a Hitachi wand. The sub had a lovely screaming orgasm while I pressed my legs together in remembrance of my last playtime with my own wand.

In addition to everyone’s welcoming attitude, I enjoyed being a voyeur. Couples had sex on the benches in front of us, while a sub gave her Dom a blowjob right behind us. It was very fulfilling to meet with a group of fellow kinksters who let go of their inhibitions and let everything hang out. I’m certainly looking forward to hanging out with them again!

Interview with Erotic Romance Author Rynne Raines

I found Rynne's books a few years ago. Welcome to Eden was the first of a series involving BDSM, and an exciting read for me. I was hooked from the start! Following that came Pure Sin, the book that cemented my fangirl relationship with Rynne. I fell in love with Cade Sinclair's sensual domination, and Bianca's ability to keep him on his toes. By the end of the book they were good friends that I didn't want to leave. (I could have gone on for another oh....20 chapters or more....)

Last Friday, 9/16, Rynne released her latest novel, Legally Bound, and I am in the middle of gobbling it up. An erotic romance that makes me look deep inside myself to drag out my own feelings, and creates a strong need for me to read, no, devour a book in one sitting, is like chocolate to me. Not many authors make my 'purchase the day they release' list, but Rynne is right up at the top. But enough about me - who is Rynne Raines, and what makes her tick?

Click here to purchase a copy!


1. Tell us a little about Legally Bound

Evelyn Morgan has a secret. Donavan Carver wants to expose it. Bondage, debauchery, and a weekend at Eden lands one of them on their knees….

For years, Eve has craved sexual domination, but a kinky romp in the hay isn't worth destroying her prestigious legal reputation over. Even if that romp’s with her handsome rival and legendary Dominant, Donavan Carver. Desperate to protect her secret and keep the notorious playboy at bay, Eve clings to the lie she’s told for two years—she’s a Domme. Donavan doesn’t buy it.  Given an opportunity to put Donavan’s doubts to rest, Eve lures him into a bet he can’t win—one that will tether him to her leash. So what if she cheats to win? He’ll never find out. Or will he?

2. What was your inspiration for the story?

That's a tough question that I've never actually thought about. Usually a story idea just forms in my head and I roll with it, flush it out and see if it's a workable concept with workable characters. With this one, I wanted to go in the fun direction with explosive characters who played well off each other, which made for explosive sex scenes. Eve is probably the strongest female personality I've written to date and Donavan, the strongest male personality. I had fun playing with the love/hate relationship in contrast to my previous storylines.

3. Is there a message in your book that you want readers to grasp?

People are not always what they seem to be.

4. Who designed the cover?

Angela Anderson, and she did a fantastic job.

5. What was the hardest part of writing Legally Bound?

Ending it.

6. What are your current projects?

Right now, I'm closing in on finishing another BDSM themed romance. The working title is Political Ties but I'm pretty sure the title will change by the time it's ready to publish. Here's an unedited blurb for it.


Unedited Blurb:


Fiona McBride has lived the life of the proper politician's wife for nearly a decade. To finally be free of her overbearing and cruel husband is a blessing long overdue.


The divorce has not hardened her about relationships. In fact, quite the opposite. After years in a cold marriage, she's desperate for the physical touch of a man but not the passionate kiss-gentle caress type of touch. She needs it rough and messy. To be bound and gagged. And she needs it with no strings attached.


She never anticipated the opportunity for all those things to present itself with her ex-husband's political rival, Harrison Lancaster--The Councilman with the killer blue eyes, a voice as rich as silk, and the only man to ever make her feel naked when she was fully clothed.


Tempting? Oh yes. Dangerous? No question.


But she had been the bed partner of the proper politician before and no matter how great the vanilla sex might be with Harrison, she isn't willing to deny her true submissive nature a moment longer.


Little does Fiona know, she's not the only one who's been forced to hide their true sexual nature....

7. What led you to become a writer?

I've always enjoyed creating something solid that's conjured from my own mind. It started out as a hobby and transformed into more when I quit my job in the big city and moved to the country because that's where my better half's professional road took him. Without him, I wouldn't have the opportunity to spend so much time at the keyboard. I'm undoubtedly grateful for his support.

8. How long have you been writing?

Well, I started out writing at about age thirteen but it wasn't until I was around twenty-four that I starting seriously pursuing anything solid in this industry.

9. Describe your writing process.

That's another tough question for me because, in the end, I never really understand how I get from point A to point B. I guess I get an idea, flush it out in my head, create characters that I think will work, and then start writing. I don't usually mind map or write a skeleton of my storylines, though I've tried. It just doesn't work for me. Also, I tend to edit while I'm writing which I hear is a big no-no. It just seems to happen that way.

10. What's your work schedule like when you're writing? Describe a typical day in the life of Rynne Raines.

A typical day would be waking up, dishes, laundry, running the vacuum...God, now doesn't that sound exciting? LOL After the household is under control, I sit down, check my emails, and then open whatever story I'm working on. Some days, I stare at the last paragraph I've written the day before, for hours. Sometimes it comes easier and I actually put some words down. Those are good days. :)

11. Do you tend to self-edit while writing? And if so, does that interfere with your creativity?

Oh yes. I self-edit constantly. It's a nasty habit, I know. I suppose it does interfere with my creativity but it's the only process I've been able to finish anything solid with. Every writer has their own way of doing things. I'm not the type who can write a first draft quickly then draft a second and make it better. I'm not quite sure why. My internal editor is quite the anal bitch.

12. Do you have any favorite mood-setting music for writing?

I don't actually. I write in silence. When I have music on, I tend to sing along and I can seem to write and sing at the same time. :P

13. What advice do you have for aspiring writers?

Try not to let the work eat you alive. Like anything, this is a job. Yes, it doesn't exactly fit into the 9-5 category but in the end, whether you're published or not published, whether the reviews are good or bad, these stories you are putting out do not define you as a whole. Don't ever base your entire self-worth on the story you're writing and hope that everyone in the world is going to love it. That's just unrealistic and if you do it, you're in for heartache. Also, do not ever let the opinion of others stop you from following your dream to write. If you think you have what it takes to write and that's what you want to do, then do it. On a more technical note of advice: Write your story. Make it as clean and concise as you possibly can before sending it in. Know your market. Hmm, that's all I've got...lol.

14. What advice do you have for busting a slump?

You know...I hit slumps quite a few times in a week and I never know what the thing is that gets me out of it. When I can't write the first emotion I experience is anger, then maybe irritation, frustration, a lot of self-doubt. I walk away from the writing, let it stew but never stop thinking about it. Then eventually I hit rock bottom, have a good cry in the corner. The days following a breakdown tend to be brighter. For whatever reason. I have no idea. If you do hit a slump, trust me, the ability to write WILL return. Timelines are different for every writer. Just hang in there!

15. Are there any authors that you would name as influences?

To be quite honest, I don't read a lot in the genre I write. Does that sound horrible? I find it very difficult to read a specific genre while trying to write in that genre without my own writing voice being influenced. The first real romance novel I ever read was a Historical Romance by Nicole Jordon. She's a talented writer with real characters and I will assume, I took some inspiration and influence from her.

16. Where do you get your information or ideas for your books?

Ideas sometimes come from gabbing with a friend or my sister then I take those little tidbits home with me and mull them over in my head. As for research, I use the web. Keeping on the lookout for new and different sex toys is always a treat...lol.

17. Do you hear from your readers? What do they say?

Actually, I've just recently started hearing from more of my readers. I get the odd piece of fan mail and the feedback has always been very positive. If my readers want anything from me, it's usually longer stories, which I take as a compliment.

18. What, in your opinion, are the most important elements of good writing?

Vivid and realistic characters. That's the biggest one for me. Even if you have a great storyline, if the characters aren't jumping off the page, trust me, no one gives a shit about how good the storyline is...lol. Also, be clean and concise. Never just write to hear your own voice. Every sentence should lead into the next and play a part in advancing the plot or character development. I've read books, even by well known authors, that I've thought were over-the-top wordy. Don't ramble, please!

19. Are you involved in the BDSM lifestyle? If so, what is your role?

I wouldn't say that I'm "in" the lifestyle. I don't live a D/s relationship though it's always intrigued me. If I were living the lifestyle, I suppose I would be a kinky/submissive.

20. What are your personal kinks/fetishes?

Wow, you don't hold back with the questions, eh? lmao. Okay, here we go. I like dominant men, smart ones who know what they're doing, not just the overbearing type. Force fantasies and role-play are up there on the list. I like the idea of being controlled in sexual situations, the tug of war for power is a serious turn on. Also, I love toys and bondage.

21. Give us one of your own dirty little fantasies.

Hmm...I love the final sex scene in Legally Bound. That would be an ultimate fantasy of mine. If you want to know it, you'll have to read the book! LOL

22. Do you use BDSM to enhance romance, or is it just for enhancing sex scenes?

That's an interesting question that I've never considered. Now that you ask, I'm not entirely sure. I think the best writing comes from something someone is passionate about. I use BDSM because it's what turns me on, therefore, I find the reactions and emotions in the stories to be more genuine which makes for a better story. If I had to guess, I would probably say I use it for enhancing the sex scenes mostly. The struggle for power increases sexual tension and I like that.

23. What made you choose the erotic romance genre, using BDSM themes?

I wrote my first erotic romance because it was a sought after product for the specific publisher. It wasn't until my third release that I went the way of BDSM, and I guess Welcome To Eden derived from fantasies I had in my head. It wasn't until after that one that I decided to stay on this road. After Eden, I felt like a found a niche where I could stay for a while and be happy being there.

24. How do you research BDSM elements?

Believe it or not, for Pure Sin-the second in my Eden series, I heard from a girlfriend about this 3d internet game called Second Life. She told me there were loads of BDSM type clubs inside this interface and that it would be a great place to ask questions and find out a little more about real people who dabbled in kink. That was my first research quest. I met a lot of interesting and informative people there. I also made some fantastic friends. Other than that, I surf the web for info.

25. Favorite snacks in PJ's?

Potato Chips.

26. Sweet & chocolatey, or salty & crunchy?

Salty and crunchy.

27. What are you reading right now?

Blood Sin, by Marie Treanor.

28. What are your favorite films?

Shawshank Redemption. Scent of a Woman. Bull Durham.

29. Give us 3 interesting facts about yourself.

Damn, I don't even know if there are three "interesting" facts about me. I love low whispers and warm rain. I got married last December to my long time love of seven years in the Riviera Maya of Mexico. More often than not, I prefer talking to my dog over talking to other human beings. LOL

30. What are your hobbies?

Camping, fishing (I'm a catch and release type of girl), and cooking.

31. Of all the books that you've written, which is your favorite?

Without a doubt, it has to be Legally Bound. I've never been so completely invested in a set of characters or plot the way I was with this one. I've had a hard time moving past it and writing something new.

32. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Ha! I wanted to be a painter. Surprisingly enough, my artistic ability does not stretch to drawing OR painting!

33. What brings you peace and helps you calm your mind?

Without question, good friends.

34. Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Thank you so much for sticking with me over the last few years. It's been an honor to share what's inside my head with all of you and I hope you'll stick by me in future endeavors.

Cassie, you've been an amazing host. I appreciate the chance to grace the pages of your blog. I hope to do it again, with a new release, in the near future.

And thank you, Rynne, for a wonderful interview! Best of luck with Legally Bound, and all of your future endeavors!

Rynne Raines 'Legally Bound' Releases Tomorrow!

Just a quick note to remind everyone that Rynne Raines' new release, Legally Bound, will come out tomorrow!

Rynne is releasing on The Wilder Roses site. After 30 days she'll be available on Amazon and all the other big sites. Here's a link to the Wilder Roses site and Legally Bound:

http://www.wilderroses.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=88&products_id=842

And if you haven't already read Rynne's other books, you can get them via her website. I highly recommend her books - she develops excellent characters, her plots are extremely believeable, and her ability to capture human emotions is uncanny. Plus her sex scenes are hot enough to melt your panties off ;)

Now GO! Go get her books!

http://www.rynneraines.com/

Come back to visit us on Sunday, September 18th, when Rynne will be my guest. I've got all sorts of thought-provoking questions for her, so be here and find out what makes Rynne tick!

Six Sentence Sunday - Overcoming Inhibitions

For this week's Six Sentence Sunday, I'm continuing on where I left off last week.

Christie is sitting on Xavier's lap, trying to overcome her inhibitions of talking dirty. Not only is she nervous about having to say words that she merely fantasizes about, but she knows that her inexperience will shine through.

Xavier has asked her to tell him how she'd worship his cock. She is firmly on his lap, feet dangling off to the side, as he runs his fingers through her hair, trying to ease her fears.

Christie tells him...

***

"Um, I'd begin with some adoration."

"Lovely, pet. Tell me how you'd adore my cock."

Christie worried her lip again. "Yes, Sir. I'd...uh...kiss around your cock and balls, rubbing my cheek against you as you first start to come to attention."

She opened her eyes and looked at Xavier. Was she doing this right? She wasn't used to talking dirty, and this was really embarassing. He nodded for her to continue.

She closed her eyes again. Looking at him made everything seem too real.

***

I know how hard it is to bare your soul to your Master. It requires courage, complete honesty, and determination to succeed. They enjoy stretching your boundaries in a safe environment, and watching you push your limits to please them, yourself, and ultimately the YOU that represents the two of you in concert, creating your own symphony of souls.

And is it worth all that energy? You tell me....I already know MY answer ;)

Six Sentence Sunday - Learning to Talk Dirty

For this week's Six Sentence Sunday, I'm sharing a little bit of a longer blog post that will be up soon.

Christy is new to the scene, and is very shy. She's had very little experience with sex, and absolutely NO experience being a submissive.

Xavier can see through all of Christy's inhibitions and knows he can awaken her inner slut. Breaking through her reserve will be a challenge - one that he will thoroughly enjoy. At this point in their relationship, she's still very bashful, so Xavier is working with her to learn to express her sensuality in words. He asks her to describe how she'd worship his cock, and has her sit on his lap while she tells him.

And yes, it's a few more than six sentences....so sue me ;)

******

Christie blew out her breath as her eyelids fell closed. Not only was she nervous about describing what she'd do, but her inexperience would most certainly be evident.

She rubbed her hands together trying to calm her nerves, and began timidly."I'd begin..." Her throat constricted with her anxiety.

Xavier ran his hand softly through her hair. From the top of her head to mid-back, he continued to stroke her. The heat and gentleness of his touch gave her courage. She tried again.

******

Can Christy let go of her fear and insecurities to tell Xavier how she'd worship his cock? Hmmmm .... I think we'll find that out in my next blog post ;)

Starts at The Salton Sea Chronicles

I am honored to be a part of author/editor Lee Prewett's latest blog on Starts!

Lee asked several writers for the first 1-2 sentences of their book, in order to see how authors set the tone for the novel and draw the reader in.

I submitted the first two lines from my current WIP, the yet-untitled saga of Christy & Xavier (see my post on Since I missed Six Sentence Sunday for another sample).

You can find Lee's blog here:
http://saltonseachronicles.blogspot.com/2011/07/starts-2.html

BDSM Authors: Where's the Beef(cake)?

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